In Which I Uncover a Masonic Temple Conspiracy

The following events may or may not be completely veracious.

Today’s adventure required that I look up local ghost stories and investigate.  Given that I live in an old town, I shouldn’t be able to leave the driveway without running over at least one white lady in a haunted pirate ship.  New Bern is over 300 years old, the site of at least one battle (Civil War), and the birthplace of Pepsi.

I don’t really know what Pepsi has to do with anything, but the guy who invented it lives in a creepy old graveyard and surely rises from his coffin each night to leave hooks on the cars of unwary coke drinkers.

Knowing all this, I thought I should be prepared.  I’ve seen Supernatural; I knew I’d need salt in order to repel the many gray-faced specters that tried to keep me from learning the Truth. Of course I also knew my mother would probably notice if I took one of her nice Sea Salt grinders and she no longer keeps the Morton’s in the house so I had to settle for some packets of Splenda. Continue reading